40 Hilariously Funny Best Buddy Quotes for BFFs

Best buddies aren't just there for the good times; they are usually the ones making the bad times hilarious. The deepest friendships are often those built on mutual absurdity and perfectly timed insults. Dive into this collection of quotes that perfectly capture the glorious, goofy bond you share with your favorite human.

Quotes About Shared History and Glorious Trouble

"We'll be friends until we're old and senile... then we'll be new friends!"

Author: Anonymous

Benefit: Highlights the longevity and potential absurdity of the friendship.

"If you fall, I will always be there to pick you up, right after I stop laughing."

Author: Unknown

Benefit: Captures the balance of support and humor in the relationship.

"A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting right next to you saying, 'That was awesome.'"

Author: Walter Winchell

Benefit: Defines a true partner in crime.

"Our phones went dead, so we had to actually talk to each other. It was terrifying."

Author: Sam Alcott

Benefit: Reflects modern, relatable humor about communication dependence.

"We are going to be those old ladies who cause trouble in the nursing home."

Author: Rhonda Lynn

Benefit: Aspirational humor about maintaining wildness into old age.

"Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food."

Author: Eric G.

Benefit: Simple, funny observation about lack of boundaries.

"Best friends don't judge each other. They judge other people together."

Author: Eleanor Roosevelt (A humorous attribution)

Benefit: Highlights shared critical opinions and mutual understanding.

"We have been friends for so long, I can't remember which one of us is the bad influence."

Author: Kelly S.

Benefit: Humor about shared responsibility for mischief.

"If we were on a sinking ship, I'd probably use you as a flotation device."

Author: Ryan H.

Benefit: Extreme, darkly funny expression of closeness and pragmatism.

"I don't need a therapist, I just need my best friend and a bottle of wine."

Author: Sandra K.

Benefit: Emphasizes the best buddy as the primary source of emotional support.

"We’ve got history. And most of it probably shouldn’t be repeated in public."

Author: Mike R.

Benefit: A nod to embarrassing shared secrets and past adventures.

"If I send you ugly selfies, our friendship is real."

Author: Clara Bell

Benefit: Demonstrates the comfort level required for true intimacy.

"We are best friends. Always remember that if you need a kidney, I will absolutely give you mine... but only if it's convenient."

Author: Joel M.

Benefit: Pokes fun at the limits of sacrifice with humorous conditions.

"You're the reason I look forward to coming home and forgetting all my responsibilities."

Author: Liam D.

Benefit: Focuses on the buddy as an essential escape.

"I promise I will never let you do anything stupid... alone."

Author: Amy C.

Benefit: The classic motto of supportive mischief.

Honest Insults and Perfectly Timed Teasing

"We go together like drunk and disorderly."

Author: Patricia T.

Benefit: Describes a chaotic, inseparable pairing.

"You are my best friend because you are just as weird as I am."

Author: Anonymous

Benefit: Celebrating shared quirkiness.

"Our relationship is 90% mocking each other and 10% being genuinely supportive."

Author: Jen M.

Benefit: A realistic ratio of friendly banter.

"I love that I don't have to filter my thoughts around you. They are usually awful."

Author: David H.

Benefit: The freedom of unfiltered communication.

"You're not annoying, you're just aggressively enthusiastic."

Author: Sarah J.

Benefit: A backhanded compliment reserved for best friends.

"Sometimes, I look at you and wonder how you survived childhood."

Author: Martin L.

Benefit: Gentle teasing about poor life choices.

"If karma doesn't hit you, I will."

Author: Jessica W.

Benefit: The best buddy as the immediate disciplinary force.

"I choose you. And I'll probably regret it later."

Author: Chloe P.

Benefit: A humorous acknowledgment of the buddy's potential for trouble.

"My therapist told me to embrace my flaws. I hugged you."

Author: Fictional Meme Source

Benefit: Implying the buddy is a beloved flaw.

"I thought you were crazy. Then I realized we’re both crazy, just in different ways."

Author: Terry K.

Benefit: Realizing mutual insanity is the core of the bond.

"If you think I'm annoying, you should meet my best friend."

Author: K. O'Malley

Benefit: Deflecting blame and highlighting the buddy's wild side.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you cried over that commercial. But you owe me."

Author: Greg F.

Benefit: Holding emotional secrets hostage for favors.

"You are the 'she' to my 'nanigans.'"

Author: P. Giggles

Benefit: A playful, rhyming description of joint chaos.

"We are not always talking, but we always know what the other is thinking (and usually it's inappropriate)."

Author: Beth B.

Benefit: Telepathic connection focused on inappropriate thoughts.

"I keep you around just to make myself look better."

Author: Confucius (The Sarcastic Edition)

Benefit: Mocking the friend while affirming their necessity.

Quotes About Food, Comfort, and Essential Support

"Friends come and go, but true friends bring snacks."

Author: Leslie Knope

Benefit: Prioritizing essential provisioning in a relationship.

"My favorite thing to do is nothing, and I love doing nothing with you."

Author: J. Bannon

Benefit: Celebrating comfortable, shared laziness.

"You are the peanut butter to my existential dread."

Author: C. R. Lamm

Benefit: Humorously describing the buddy as a comforting counter to anxiety.

"True friends don't get offended when you randomly stop talking to them because you fell asleep."

Author: Maya A.

Benefit: Acknowledging mutual exhaustion and understanding.

"The only reason I exercise is so I can eat more pizza with you."

Author: Vinnie D.

Benefit: Highlighting the shared culinary focus of the friendship.

"If our friendship was a horror movie, you'd be the one who gets killed first because you always trip."

Author: Tom K.

Benefit: A joking observation on the buddy's lack of coordination.

"Let's be awkward together, forever."

Author: Finn H.

Benefit: Embracing shared social discomfort.

"I apologize in advance for anything I do while we are together. I am highly suggestible."

Author: S. Rogers

Benefit: Pre-apology for shared future misconduct.

"You mess with the best, you mess with the friend of the best (and she’s scarier)."

Author: The Backup Friend

Benefit: Emphasizing fierce, protective loyalty.

"I need you because you remind me of all the really weird things I’ve done."

Author: Kacey M.

Benefit: The buddy serves as the essential, shared memory keeper.

These quotes prove that the best kind of support comes wrapped in sarcasm and inside jokes. Use these quotes to remind your best buddy just how much you cherish their unique brand of lunacy—and maybe use a few as captions for your next photo together!