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Hilarious & Relatable New Girl Quotes to Live By

Discover hilarious and relatable quotes from New Girl! Find inspiration, humor, and relatable moments from Jess, Nick, Schmidt, and the gang.

Hilarious & Relatable New Girl Quotes to Live By - Motivational content from ShareVault about entertainment
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"I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours! I am not afraid to express myself."

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SHAREVAULT TEAM
December 6, 2025
4 min read

Need a laugh or a relatable moment? Look no further than the quirky wisdom of New Girl! This show is packed with witty lines and heartwarming insights. Here's a compilation of the best quotes to brigh...

Need a laugh or a relatable moment? Look no further than the quirky wisdom of New Girl! This show is packed with witty lines and heartwarming insights. Here's a compilation of the best quotes to brighten your day.

Funniest New Girl Quotes

"I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours! I am not afraid to express myself."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: Encourages embracing your unique personality.

"I’m not convinced I know how to read. I’ve just memorized a lot of words."

Author: Nick Miller

Benefit: A humorous take on self-awareness.

"You know what I’m like? I’m like cool, but I cry all the time."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: Captures the essence of being emotional yet still awesome.

"I don’t want to get married. I just want to eat a doughnut in bed. It’s a very different thing."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: Expresses the desire for simple pleasures over societal expectations.

"I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!"

Author: Schmidt

Benefit: Highlights Schmidt's particular brand of neuroticism and materialism.

"Dammit, I care too much!"

Author: Schmidt

Benefit: Relatable to anyone who feels things deeply.

"I’m gonna need you to say ‘I love you’ to this corndog."

Author: Nick Miller

Benefit: Demonstrates Nick's quirky and unconventional approach to relationships.

"Are you vagazzled?"

Author: Cece Parekh

Benefit: A humorous reference to a questionable beauty trend.

"I'm a great public speaker. I can talk about anything."

Author: Winston Bishop

Benefit: Showcases Winston's unwavering (but sometimes misguided) confidence.

"Why are you being so weird? You’re acting like Winston when he doesn’t get to do his puzzles."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: A funny comparison using a specific character trait.

Relatable New Girl Quotes for Daily Life

"People change. Sometimes they forget to tell each other."

new girl quotes image 1

Author: Nick Miller

Benefit: A poignant observation on the nature of relationships and personal growth.

"I just think you get one life. And you should try and enjoy it."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: A reminder to live life to the fullest.

"Look, if things are too good, something bad is definitely gonna happen."

Author: Nick Miller

Benefit: Embodies a pessimistic, yet realistic outlook.

"You have to prioritize what makes you feel good."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: Encourages self-care and personal well-being.

"Success is doing what you want, where you want, when you want."

Author: Schmidt

Benefit: Redefines success on individual terms.

"I am not a shell of a man, I am an evolved man!"

Author: Schmidt

Benefit: Highlights Schmidt's over-the-top self-confidence.

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

Author: Nick Miller

Benefit: A humorous and relatable way to offer support.

"I am confident, yet highly insecure."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: A relatable statement about the inner conflict many people experience.

"You can’t just give up when things get a little difficult."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: Encourages perseverance in the face of challenges.

"I feel like I wanna murder someone, and also I want soft pretzels."

Author: Nick Miller

Benefit: Perfectly captures the feeling of being overwhelmed and needing comfort food.

Inspiring New Girl Quotes

"If you love something, you fight for it. You don’t just give up."

new girl quotes image 2

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: Emphasizes the importance of fighting for what you believe in.

"Sometimes you just have to pee on your friends to prove that you love them."

Author: Nick Miller

Benefit: An absurd, but ultimately heartfelt expression of friendship.

"I'm like a human hug."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: Shows Jess's caring and compassionate nature.

"All my life, I thought I needed a plan. But now I realize all you need is the right people to support you."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: Highlights the importance of supportive relationships.

"Being an adult is hard. It's like a really long field trip. You have to be responsible for yourself. But I like it!"

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: A positive perspective on the challenges of adulthood.

"It’s better to be alone than wish you were."

Author: Schmidt

Benefit: Encourages self-respect and independence.

"We’re just trying to find a little comfort in this crazy world."

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: A relatable sentiment about the human desire for connection and stability.

"I'm not sure what my purpose is, but I know I'm supposed to be here."

Author: Nick Miller

Benefit: Reflects the universal search for meaning and purpose in life.

"You gotta be who you are, even when it's weird."

new girl quotes image 3

Author: Jess Day

Benefit: Encourages authenticity and self-acceptance.

"The best way to support someone is just to be there."

Author: Winston Bishop

Benefit: Simple, yet powerful advice on how to support your loved ones.

These New Girl quotes remind us to embrace our quirks, find humor in everyday life, and cherish the friendships that make it all worthwhile. Hopefully these quotes gave you a chuckle and a little inspiration!

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